The Best Days

Jared and I had a good talk this morning. I cried; it had been awhile. I'm still scared and wishing that this weren't about my baby. But I was reminded of something that my dear friend would tell me. She would say that the days that are the hardest - the ones that are scary and emotional, when God seems silent or distant, when I doubt or question, when I start to feel desperate - are really the best. It's in those days that God reveals our need for Him more clearly. We come face to face with our weakness and inability to cope with anything apart from Him, and we become even more desperate for Him. And it's days like these that make the days we do feel His presence and He allows us to experience a deeper intimacy with Him so much more beautiful and powerful! This still really stinks. Knowing this doesn't magically bring on the victory or make the struggle any less real. But it does give me hope. God is still right here with me; He hasn't moved. He's allowing these days to give me the opportunity to trust Him, seek Him, and desire Him more fully than I have been. Tears and all.