My Post-its

Last night we had our first scare with Judah. It turned out to be nothing, but it was scary at the time. Judah had his hydro cortisone at 10 and then ate at 11. In the next 15 minutes he threw up everything he had eaten. Vomiting is a big deal for Judah. That's when we start talking about dehydration and having to inject him with his hydro cortisone. So, right away my mind jumps to these possibilities...and the fear that this might be the time we make our first trip to the emergency room. I checked in Judah's cortisol replacement therapy booklet to make sure I did the right thing, but decided to double check with a call to the endocrine clinic. The on-call doctor called me back a few minutes later. I gave Judah his hydro cortisone again, and then it was time to wait. If he throws up again within 30 min. he needs to have an injection. If he's able to keep it down for 30 min. then we just watch him, and he may need to be stress dosed for the rest of the day. It was already almost midnight. I was feeling very anxious; my stomach was tied up in knots. I told Jared how I was feeling, and also told him that I was just so tired, but didn't think I'd be able to get any sleep. (I don't think I handled this situation very well emotionally. But that's the way it was, and hopefully, as we have more of these experiences and I do actually have to stress dose and/or inject Judah, it will get easier and I won't be so anxious. Anyway...) After a few minutes we climbed into bed, and Jared had me come over by him so we could "spoon". Amazing how God created closeness in marriage in such a way that you can actually draw strength and comfort from physical touch. Just being close to Jared was incredibly comforting and encouraging. And then Jared prayed. For Judah. For me. For us. That was the "icing on the cake". I was able to fall asleep quickly, and thankfully Judah did fine the rest of the night. I didn't even need to stress dose him later on. The next morning I got up to go to the kitchen, but saw a little yellow post-it at eye level just inside the doorway of our room. Jared had written 2 Cor. 12:9 on it. I left our room, and as I walked past the computer I noticed another one stuck to the frame above it: Ps. 34:8. I went into the kitchen and there was a post-it on the cupboard by the sink with a favorite quote from Martin Luther. On the cupboard where I keep my pumping supplies was James 1:17. A favorite quote from Larry Crabb hung on the shelf that's right above the chair I sit at to eat breakfast. I went to the bathroom, and there on the mirror was Lam. 3:22-23. Later, I sat down on the couch to read stories to the kids, and on the wall above the couch was another post-it with a quote from C.S. Lewis. And when I helped the kids brush their teeth I found one on the mirror in their bathroom: Ps. 34:18. Jared wrote out all these notes and stuck them in places all over the house where I would be sure to see them! They're still there - of course! They comfort, challenge, and encourage me all day. They remind me that this life that God has chosen for us, that we have chosen to follow Him in, is hard and painful; BUT GOD is good, is our Refuge, is faithful, is generous, is our strength. He won't "fix it", but He will give us something better - HIS good, and a deeper, lasting intimacy with Him.
**He also gave me an amazing soul mate to walk this road with.