A Beautiful Day

I'm 30 today. I had all these fun birthday festivities planned and was actually looking forward to this day. Well, there's a verse in Proverbs that talks about how a man can make plans, but it's the Lord that determines the course of those plans...basically. Anyway, He determined that Judah's birthday would be on the 4th, the day my festivities were to begin! Since then I haven't even wanted my birthday to come today. What kind of celebration can happen when part of my family - the tiniest, most vulnerable part - is so sick? I guess it's a testimony to God's grace for each day that I am having a very good day. God has used His Body here in Omaha and from all over the map to minister to and encourage me today. But He's also given me many other gifts besides. I got birthday cuddles in bed this morning from Ezra & Lydia. I got birthday cards practically thrown at me from my kids as soon as I got out of bed (thanks to the love of my life for keeping said kids quiet with birthday card materials so I could sleep in). I had a very yummy breakfast - Egg McDaddy's. I had a date with the most handsome, and most sought after bachelor resident of Children's! It was the perfect way to spend the rest of my morning. On the way to the NICU I had a great worship time with the Lord. (I really believe those songs on the radio were for me this morning.) Then I had an hour to spend with my little darling. It was a gift to have that time with him, mostly to myself. His nurse left us alone for the most part, only coming in as necessary. After saying good morning and talking to him for a few minutes while I held his hand and squeezed his toes (for Daddy), I sat down next to him and read to him. His top was down at the time, so I had one of the arm "windows" open so he could hear me read to him. I read him his Psalm. I looove Psalm 139 in The Living Bible! Anyway, I told Judah that Psalm 139 - the part about God forming him in the womb, etc. - was about him, for him. God didn't make a mistake, but knit every intricate tiny part of Judah together. I told him that he was made in the image of God, and that God loved him so much that He made him for Him and for His glory. I said that in a perfect world he would be different; but that he's perfect in this world. But when we get to the Real World, he will be perfectly perfect. We will wait eagerly for Jesus to come and make him whole, with no more health problems, no more pain; but he is so beautiful and made so perfectly in God's image that we rejoice and praise God for allowing us to see His glory manifested through Judah's tiny new life. It was so good to talk to Judah and touch him. Later I was able to help with his cares again. Of course at that point he had his top up, which allows me more access to him. I kissed his big toe, his hand, held both of his hands in mine (boy, what a blessing to have those iv's removed from his hands!) and squeezed his toes again. Oh, he's so beautiful and precious! Sometimes my arms physically ache to hold him...but let's not go down that road today. Judah had a good night last night, and today is a good day. The right numbers are down and the right numbers are up. He still fluctuates constantly, but the big picture is good. We got report from the Neonatologist through a voicemail, but it was a good report! She believes that today Judah is turning a corner, and he is finally "on the mend"! The best news of all to me, though? They are going to start him on tiny breastmillk feeds!!! I can't wait to see that little feeding tube filled with the nutrition that God has designed for Judah! It's always so hard to say goodbye and leave him there, but that's another example of God's grace for each moment of every day. I have yet to actually keel over and drop dead from having to leave him! The rest of the day so far has been filled with happy surprises:) All kinds of birthday greetings from friends and family. A surprise visit from a dear friend who came bearing cupcakes and a present! And another friend dropped off a card with a Starbucks gift card - yummy! I got an "Edible Arrangement" delivered from another great girlfriend - oh my, yes! Chocolate-covered fruit to die for! And my favorite "life on life" sister in Christ, along with her husband, sent Jared and me a Flip video camera to take with us to the NICU so we can easily record Judah and send it via computer to all our family and friends. Man, we are so well cared for! And it's all because of Christ, what He has done for us, and how He ministers to us through His Body!

Zephaniah 3:17