A lot has happened in the last 24+ hours. Seems like things never slow down for Judah - things are always changing. It's hard to keep up with...and exhausting. We have report from the Neonatologist that's on each day...and then, of course, every time we see Judah (2-3 times a day) we get updates from his nurses about how his day or night is going. I've never been so overloaded with information...it's medical school without the text books. Speaking of which, we had our crash course in Urology yesterday. I would have been completely fine never knowing the ins and outs of the bladder and kidneys and so on and so on and so on. And yet I now find myself to be quite knowledgeable about said body parts along with the "tubing" that connects everything. I wish it were good news. The VCAG (one of the tests he had yesterday morning) found 2 serious problems, one in his kidneys, the other between his bladder and...little boy part. The first is Reflux. It's a backwash of urine that goes to his kidneys. He's vulnerable to bladder infections; and, should infected urine get to his kidneys, kidney infections. Out of 5 grades, 5 being the worst, Judah is a 5. (I guess this little Stewart will never do anything halfway, huh?) There's nothing to be done about it now...which is a relief. He's on a prophylactic antibiotic to prevent infection; and as long as they can keep him infection-free, then at age 5 he can undergo a surgical procedure to correct the problem. If he struggles with infections...then we cross that bridge when we get there. The other problem is the obstruction. He developed valves that act like parachutes when he urinates. Those little suckers balloon up when Judah urinates, preventing it from being able to come out. He's been on a catheter since day #2, which is working for now; however, this needs to be addressed soon. Probably next week. The Urologist can insert a telescope into the...little boy part...to break up the valves. Except that with Judah, whose nakey is officially termed "micro" because of hormone problems (again, for another blog), that probably won't be possible. The temporary alternative is to make an incision below the belly button, redirect the bladder to that point, and then place a bag on the outside of his belly to catch the urine. At a year old he could then undergo the telescope procedure. Yesterday this information was so overwhelming, discouraging, and daunting. We were devastated again. And we grieved...again. How can one little body handle so much? How can this be our baby? And WHY did God choose to glorify Himself through Judah in this way? Many tears. I wanted to scream. Many more tears. I wanted to believe that sometime, somewhere along the way, somehow something went horribly wrong. But, believing what I do about God, I had to accept and believe that instead, this was somehow horribly right. This is still part of His plan. Which led me to ask WHY. God met us. God carried us. God gave us an evening with Judah. And He loved us and ministered to us while we tried to do the same for our son. My dear friend left an envelope for Judah filled with cards that have God's promises written on them. Promises for Judah. She visits him and reads them to him and prays with him. Her envelope was for us last night. I could write a whole post about 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. That's pretty much where we left off last night. We came home encouraged. And then we started a new day today. More about that later.