A couple weeks ago we were enjoying a glorious fall day at the zoo. Grandma & Grandpa were with us and we were having a great time. At one point I noticed a mom alone with her son, who looked to be right around a year old. She was holding him, and when she put him down, I chuckled as I watched him take those adorable, tentative toddler steps. Then, a sharp intake of breath as I felt a "punch in the gut". I realized (again) that I won't experience that with Judah. I felt sad all over again, and then frustrated with myself. "You're not over this yet?" "Come on, move on already." "Look at all the wonderful things he's doing; all the progress he's made!" Gr. Someday my little lion will walk. He will take those first, tentative steps. He won't be a little toddler anymore, but he will get there. And that day will hold more celebration and victory than the day a "normal" toddler would take his/her 1st steps. But, on this day at the zoo, I was sad.
Bethany, I love you and your ability to be so honest and transparent. Your resolve to trust in our Papa God for ALL things is inspiring... even when you have days of discouragement, sadness, or grief!
ReplyDelete"We have neither good days, nor bad days, they are all simply days of Grace." -Graham Cooke
Just wanted to tell you that I know too well that imbalance of feelings and all about the unexpected sneaking up on you ones too.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I had a little boy much like Judah. I found your blog through Staci or Patti I think.
Keep up the good work and the good thoughts mama!
i had a punch in the gut this morning when i was laying with Evie. nothing in particular, just needed to reschedule her orthopedic appointment, and the reality of her differences struck me once again. it's hard.
ReplyDeletelet's journey through this together eh? (that was a little wisconsin talk for ya).
love you girl,
lindsey