Tuesday, June 15, 2010

My Kids Have Radar

Every time I sit down with this blog a little person, though he or she is currently occupied, senses my seeming inactivity and interprets that as the perfect opportunity to come and ask me to read, or play a game, or get a snack, or, or, or... So I find that I have several posts swirling around in my brain and no way to get them down here. Until today! My older boys are happy to play by themselves, since I just spent the last 3o min. reading to them. My super sleeper Judah is napping. And my darling little princess, who was not so darling earlier today and had to spend some time on her bed, ended up falling asleep during her "imprisonment" - and I suddenly find myself sitting at the computer in a quiet living room with no interruptions in sight! What to do? Where to begin? Oh the joy of being able to write down a few thoughts:) I guess I'll start with what's been keeping me busy the most these days...

After months of prayer and talking, Jared and I have decided to put our house on the market. We'd love to move into a bigger house with a more open floor plan for Judah (whatever his mobile needs may be) and our growing family. While the "need" to move is certainly not urgent, and not even a need, it is getting a little crowded around here, and it would be awfully nice to have some extra space! It would also be great to move to a location that were much closer to Jared's school district. Jared wants to hang out with his students at our house, have events and parties there, regularly invite them over. It's written all over his face. He's been very successful in just about every aspect of his ministry here, but this is the one thing that has been out of reach for him...and he doesn't like it. Honestly, I'd love to change that, too. His students are important and special, and this would be a great opportunity for me to get involved with them, too; as well as our kids. Anyway, all that said, we have no idea if our house will sell or not. And that's the thing. This is another situation that has brought me back to the place of total dependence on God. My helplessness and total lack of control stares me in the face every time I look at that "For Sale" sign. Every time I think about moving, or a showing, or a different house I'm reminded that the outcome is not up to me. It's not my decision. I believe that our house will sell. I believe that God led us to put it on the market in the first place. But what if it doesn't sell, and the whole point of this is God allowing us another exercise in faith? As frustrated or disappointed or impatient as I could get during this whole process, I recognize that we're really in a great place here. Jared & I have willingly placed ourselves and our children at the mercy of God and His plan here; and we have the privilege of seeing Him work and provide, whether we move or not! I keep reminding myself that God will do what He will do and it will be GOOD. And isn't that just so true of everything in life?! It's a great lesson to have to be reminded of; to keep at the forefront of your thoughts. Not to mention the fact that I've also been reminded of all the ways that God has proven Himself to be faithful and overwhelmingly gracious to us in the last 10 years; and that, compared to all of those instances, selling a house is a pretty minor thing.

Practically speaking, in the every day of keeping the house picked up & ready for showings, of wondering what each day will bring, of hoping...I'm experiencing such a mix of anticipation, guardedness, cautious optimism, and trying to fully rely on God and His perfect timing. Weird.

Well, we sure would appreciate your prayers. Life in the Stewart house is crazy enough without adding a "for sale" sign to it! Thankfully God gave me a husband willing to help around here, kids that have grown to accept their mom's penchant for cleanliness & organization and don't really notice when she's kicked it up a notch, & house that is walking distance from the park and library when someone wants to come look at said house.

Whatever the outcome...to GOD be the glory!

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