Wednesday, March 18, 2015

From the 4th Floor...Small Miracles

It's been truly amazing to watch Judah's initial recovery from this surgery. We came into this with a "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" kind of mentality. I think over the years I've developed somewhat of a pessimistic attitude as I come into situations like this...mostly so that I don't experience disappointment or frustration like I have during past hospital stays. But then, when Judah seems to come through with flying colors, I wonder if, in my heart, I've shortchanged God and really just lacked faith. I don't know. I guess I just don't know how to be or what to think or how to prepare sometimes. Anyway, like I said, this super kid has done extraordinarily well! As of this morning, his urology and anesthesiology teams couldn't be more pleased with his progress! They think he's ready to transition from the epidural to an oral medication for pain management. Long story short, at 11:00 he's receiving an oral dose of the new med, and 30 min. later they plan on pulling the epidural. Then we watch him for another 3 1/2 hours. This med has some potential side effects, so we need to see how he handles that. There are alternatives in place should he have any problems. If he tolerates the new med well, and his pain is under control, then the catheter and the drainage tube can come out. If all of that goes well - which is what they expect - he could actually go home later today! My mind is still reeling at the possibility. This is so outside the realm of possibilities that we were given!

After asking questions, talking through different scenarios, seeking out trusted advice, and praying together, we've decided to pursue these steps that will hopefully get him home today. I would be lying if I said I was 1000% confident that this is the right thing to do and that I have zero concerns about it. I'm scared. I'm scared that he'll be in a lot of pain. I'm scared to take him home with this major abdominal incision that's still so new. (I'm sure you mamas out there that have had cesarians can relate.) I'm scared of getting behind the pain, and then having to play catch up while he's the one that suffers. I'm concerned about the potential side effects of a new med. And how effective the alternatives might be, or what side effects they might carry. Obviously I'm not done having conversations with God about my own trust issues here. Intellectually I absolutely believe that He is at work, He is Judah's Healer, He is completely trustworthy and completely ENOUGH for Judah, and He is in control. But anytime we face an unknown with Judah my Mama Bear goes into hyperdrive and I have a hard time getting what I know in my head to completely saturate my heart. You'd think after 6 years I would be a little better at this. Well, maybe I am. But I'm certainly not as far along in this part of my faith journey as I would like to be. Makes me glad that God doesn't let me stay the same.

So, as I pursue God and His Truth this morning, I will also be thanking Him for all of your prayers for Judah's continued healing and wisdom for us. Seriously, I am SO THANKFUL that we don't walk this road alone! Our support system is ridiculous! I often "brag" about our church family and the incredibly unique community we experience with them, as well as the amazingly supportive community of people I've found through my new job...not to mention our YFC community. We're surrounded! 

Haha! Jared just said he can't wait to see what I'm writing. This was supposed to be a quick update! Tell that to my fingers;) It feels so good to be writing again.

Judah finally got his visit from Trevor AND Ariel - bonus! Needless to say, he is one happy camper.

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