Judah had another weight check on Wednesday of this week. I was very excited (jumping up and down at the doctor's office, actually) to see Judah tip the scale at 9 lbs. 1/4 oz!! I knew that if he was getting what he should be he would be about 9 lbs. Well, he's no over achiever, but he definitely got there! I also talked to the dr. about Judah's Prevacid - the medication he's been on for acid reflex. I've never liked the fact that they put him on it in the NICU, and was never fully able to understand why. As a matter of fact, the dr. that ordered it didn't really want to either, but it was a kind of "general consensus" among the other neonatologists in the NICU. Anyway, I was willing to trust the drs. at the time; and with everything else we were dealing with it didn't seem like a major thing. Since then it's just been at the back of my mind, but still not a big deal. Well, his prescription required doctor's approval to be refilled again, so I thought now was the perfect time to discuss it. Judah's pediatrician was "on my side". Judah's growing well and shows no sign of problems with reflux. He's more at risk for complications from stomach acid coming up because of his cleft palate, but at this point the dr. thought it was a good idea to wean him off the med. So, in 2 weeks he'll be down to just 3 drugs - no more Prevacid! Yippee!!! By that time we'll be back in for a well baby check and can discuss how he's doing off the Prevacid. I'm so happy about this.
Later that day we had therapy. His OT and teacher are always optimistic and pleased with how he's doing; but I'm starting to get a little discouraged. Maybe a little frustrated. Judah is 3 months old now, but still very much a newborn. And while he's made some progress, it seems to me to be very slow. I thought I had dealt with any expectations I had for him and thrown them out... I guess I didn't really. I want to see him tracking me and watching my movements. He does a little, but... I want to see him holding up his head. I want to see him reaching for things and playing. I get discouraged when I have to tell the therapist that there hasn't been any or much change in an area. Must be time to reevaluate my expectations...and then throw them out again. I'll have to learn the balance between having healthy expectations for him and not expecting too much and then being disappointed. No, discouraged is a better word. I will never be disappointed in or with my little lion.
And on that note, let me finish this post by saying that that little lion is so smiley and happy and content. He's such a joy! A little bundle of precious wrapped in majorly adorable! God has been so good to us in blessing us with Judah. I know I have a lot to learn, a long way to go in "mastering" the art of mommy-ing this special little kiddo, but I continue to believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that God's plan for us and for Judah is perfect. [And that includes His plan for Judah's development and growth.] He made no mistake when He made Judah. Judah is a perfect little image-bearer, beautifully reflecting God's glory by simply being.
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