The People Want to Know!

I love meeting people who know and love Judah! I have no idea who they are beforehand, but they know Judah through this blog, and they adore him! What an encouragement and blessing to my heart:) I met such a person today at dear little Evie's 1st birthday party (way to go, Evie!!). This woman has a special little boy not much older than Judah, and we have developed a "blog friendship". We were getting ready to leave, and all of a sudden I hear these familiar words, "Is this Judah?!" We ended up having a great conversation! I thoroughly enjoyed watching her hold Judah and oh and ah over him; sharing stories and experiences; and walking away feeling refreshed and lifted up. Thanks, friend!!

Anyway, this new friend gently admonished me for not updating in awhile;) so I thought I'd better get to it.

Judah's been doing really well in the day-to-day. He just got over a little head cold, which we handled just fine from home, thank you very much. Now he's just all snotty from a new tooth he's cutting:) He's doing great with his feeds! I'm having so much fun introducing him to a variety of fruits and vegetables...and chicken, which did not go over well. So far, the favorites are pumpkins w/ pears, apple w/ mango, carrots, and green beans. He's so adorable when he uses his sippy! It's almost as big as his head:) Judah has entered a new therapy phase. It's called "I Don't Like This, So Leave Me Alone!". It's actually pretty comical because acting so not laid back is very unlike him. The encouraging thing about it is what this behavior says about his cognitive abilities. He recognizes his therapy ladies, he communicates very clearly when he doesn't like something, and he anticipates things. Go Judah! I'm hoping that we can just get creative about his therapy so that we can work around his new "preferences" and have some good play time with his ladies. He gets his new stander this week, so I'm really hoping that he does ok with that. He NEEDS to be on his feet...we'll see how that goes;) Judah has only 2 doctor appts. this week. A follow-up with GI and another one with Plastics. I'm concerned about the Plastics one, because Judah's gap in his palate still hasn't closed. I fear that he's going to say "revision surgery" sometime on Tuesday...and I'm pretty sure I'm not ready to hear those words. Not to mention the fact, that when I think about it I feel angry, and I really don't want to blow my testimony in the doctor's office! Along with these things Judah is his normal, wonderful, jolly self. He's so easy to please, and laughs at the slightest provocation! He has come so, so far; made so much progress and accomplished so many things! I need to keep this in mind...

...because I've come around to the "Why" and "He's so far behind" part of the cycle again. I've been to the zoo and the children's museum within the last couple weeks, and had that punched-in-the-gut feeling all over again. I think that will probably never fully go away, but I sure do get frustrated with myself sometimes for feeling that way. And I just hate it when the "whys" creep in unexpectedly. It's still so surreal when I come face-to-face with the reality that I have a "special needs" child. I normally don't think of Judah that way...but... I was ready to scream at the next mother who said to her toddler that couldn't have been older than Judah "Aw, look at the baby", in reference to Judah while we were at the museum. Ya, they don't know, I get that. Still. This is part of the journey. A sucky part, but a part nonetheless.

Now that I think about it, these feelings of anger and frustration, and all the other ones that are a part of my day and aren't always so happy ones are another aspect of this journey that needs to be handed over to the Lord. I think it's ok to feel these things. I think it's ok to feel. I know God can handle my emotions. And if struggling with these feelings keeps me running back to Him, then...that's good. As long as I keep running. To Him.

So, there's your update friends and fans of Judah. Prayer warriors. Grandmas (of whom there are many) and Grandpas. Family. This is so wonderful and so hard - a beautiful agony at times. I can't fathom taking a step on this journey without the One who holds my children, my heart, and our future in His hands; the one who holds my hand and walks with me; and the ones who uphold us in prayer.